Princess's Diary

Have long since changed to LiveJournal

2005-04-22T15:38:00.000+08:00

In case you do not know, i have shifted to http://www.livejournal.com/users/princessping/

Change to new hp plan

2005-02-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

Since i got back from Hong Kong, i have been so busy with catching ups, getting ready for the new year etc. Happy Chinese New Year to my friends!!! Its getting late again, gotta go catch my beauty sleep, but before that i have decided to change my mobile plan, coz due to too much chit chatting (bill have shot up to $300 for my 2 hps), gotta change it to a free incoming one and make everyone call me instead...heeheehee...will update my life and pics from Hong Kong trip soon, but i must learn the html format first.

Stoopid me...

2005-02-05T10:05:00.000+08:00

i'm stoopid & dumb. Silly little things can just get me so upset, so easily.Why can't i be stronger? I don't wish to be stronger, why can't i havesomeone who will be there all the time to let me rely on, depend on? I can'tseems to trust anyone except my closet girlfriends, whom i know will standby me regardless of what happen, regardless of time and of course regardless how many times i have go through the same phrase with them. I know for sure,they will stand by me. When will all this end? It seems endless, coz i'm always tormenting myself over and over again, over similar problems. Should i consider them problemsin the first place? I think they are worries, instead. Something may noteven happen but i think too much. i seriously think too much. When can istop thinking? God help......

Bye Singapore, Hello Hong Kong!!!

2005-01-31T02:07:00.000+08:00

Just thought of leaving a short message on the blog before i leave for the airport. Having mixed feelings about leaving, i should be happy but i don't exactly feel the estacy of leaving, probably due to the problem that has been bugging me for quite a while. Anyway i'm sure the trip will lift my spirits. Not sure whether i can access the net while i'm there. Anyway friends, take care, till i see you guys again. Bye.

Here i come, Hong Kong!!!

2005-01-30T20:13:00.000+08:00

Yipee!!! Getting ready to my shopping spree in Hong Kong. Hmmm...what should i bring? Actually nothing, really wish to shop thoroughly this time round (as if every time i go Hong Kong i don't shop thoroughly??) Anyway, what i need to bring is MONEY!! Its always great to go on holidays, i like to leave S'pore, not as if i don't love the country but its just great to go to a new environment whereby no one knows me. i will not worry in bumping into people whom i don't wish to see. Anyway i should be happy that i am leaving, shouldn't talk about unhappy stuff. Maybe can even take this time out to sort out my thoughts and feelings in my ever complicating life. Sigh...

Livejournal???

2005-01-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...thinking of shifting my blog to Livejournal. Really like the format and of course my favourite blog is user is from there. But its a whole new system altogether. Its difficult but even HTML is difficult, which i have been trying to learn yet, haven't got the time to get down to serious learning. Well now before i grasp HTML i need to learn something else. *Sigh* i need to feel more motivated to get around to getting my things done, learn new things, do more reading, however i just feel very lethargic everyday, don't seem to be able to lift my spirits in doing anything constructive. Anyone out there can help?

Nuaing at home

2005-01-16T01:40:00.000+08:00

*Yawnz* Its such a nice feeling to laze around at home. Taking short naps as & when i like it. Watching all the TV shows that i like. Its really been a long time where i can indulge in such luxury. *Sigh* The only thing is, i felt like chit chatting. Started the day badly, cause i vented my temper on someone. He was trying to be nice & gave me wake up call but i just felt like being unreasonable & then i said many hurtful things & hang up the phone. Think he must be really angry coz after that, whole day also never contact me. Which is a way is good coz i not suppose to talk to him (right Zihui???).

Last night went out with a colleague for dinner to celebrate his birthday. Didn't really feel funny even though we went out on a single date. Maybe because i felt that he is really a good friend, someone whom i can talk about my personal things. He is the only person in the office whom i can talk heart to heart. Had so much funny coz we went eating and talking and joking. Food was great coz we had tian ji zhou & tau hua shui & you tiao at Geylang. Then went to a pub at Amara hotel. The atmosphere there was great, cozy with nice songs. There was also an uncle who was drunk & made a fool of himself. Overall it was very nice, except that i kept yawning. *Yawnz* i think yawning has become one of my trademark, regardless whether i am sleepy or not. Maybe yawning just helps to take away some tiredness.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LARRY!!!

(if you happen to visit my blog like you say, thanks for being such a dear friend)

weak hearted

2005-01-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

i realised that i have a weak heart. To put it simply i have very weak determination, i trust a person easily. That's to say i believe everyone has a GOOD side.However if that person ever let me down once, the trust is broken, it will never be mend back. *Sigh* He said he changed because of me & i felt touched, again i let my guard down, luckily Zihui was there. Thanks Gal. If you were not there to analyse the situation for me, i would falter again. i keep failing myself. *Sigh*

Anyway, met up with Zihui & Suleen for dinner. Its been such a long time since we meet up. Its always nice to catch up on each other's life & to ask about those around (to put it simply: to bitch). *Yawnz* Gotta catch my beauty sleep, if not i will have dark circles again...

Getting ready for a spree...

2005-01-12T01:48:00.000+08:00

Just submitted my application online to make a new passport, coz mine expired very long ago but didn't have time to make one. Anyway ask Zihui to help me edit one of my old photos to meet the requirements for Immigration. Wishing, hoping that the photo will pass and i can collect my passport soon, coz i really wana go for my trip. Its that time again, i wana escape even for a short while to some place where no one knows me. Suddenly at this moment, 93.3FM is playing that song again, this song never fails to remind me of him. Some where out there, he must be feeling happy with his life (i wish that for him even though i am still trapped in the dilemma), whereas for myself, i am still feeling upset. Has he ever thought of him? Did anything reminded him of me? Whatever...

i begin to suspect maybe i am dropping into the stage of depression, i used to be someone who is quite positive, now anything i think will be negative. Due to all that, i began to do silly things, which i shouldn't be doing at all, or rather its not me to do such things. *Sigh* a very good friend once told me: "There's nothing one cannot let go, its just whether one wana let go?"

As an avoider/escapist, i just can't wait to leave this place quickly...maybe i should even do it often. Somehow it helps to lift my spirits in a way. Currently, i just crave for attention, anyone can do that??? God helps...

To do or not to do...

2005-01-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

Begin to wonder whether there are things that can be done...meaning: are there things that we are suppose to do??? Such as being fillial, getting a stable job, being loyal to friends. How about things that we should not do? Friends who know me well enough will know what i have been going through recently...

Temperamental gal

2004-12-29T01:45:00.000+08:00

Not sure when it started or maybe i'm just born with it?? i'm getting more & more temperamental. Even i can't stand it myself. i will just leash out my anger on people whom i know will withstand it or to people whom i don't give a damn. Especially him, who recently has been in close contact with me. As and when i feel pak chek or whatever, i will just flare my temper at him. Whenever that happens, he will say that its his fault, letting me vent my anger on him, sometimes it will soften me, & make me feel thankful that there is someone out there who can withstand all my s**t. Then the next moment, i will just be extremely sweet & nice to him. Is it work stress that's eating into me? Is it my messy life that's getting on my nerves? Is it his lies that making my mind in a jumble & thus hard for me to control my own feelings? How can i handle stress better? There are just so many questions that i've been asking myself. i have been thinking so hard that my head is gonna burst. However, it just land me into a deeper dilemma and confusion about what is it that i exactly want and how should i handle things. Even right now, writing this blog, i don't even know what i'm talking about. Friends have been advising me to relax and take things easy and even looking at things on the brighter side, its always easy to say but extremely difficult to do. i have always been a "thinking person" meaning, i like to keep thinking about things and ended making myself unhappy, worrying about things that may not even happen at all. What should i do? Everyday i question myself more and more. Feelings are getting stronger and i don't know how to handle and needless to say, control it. i'm tired, i need a break, probably a holiday (anyway he was asking me to go to Hong Kong with him & he will pay for my air tickets, is it another lie??? Does it consists of any ulterior motive???) *sigh* Can i just shut my brain and stop thinking??? Yes, i should go to sleep where i won't think of anything. But i can visualise that the moment i wake up the next morning, i will start thinking again......

Hectic week

2004-12-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

The festive season is just round the corner, but my life is getting even busier. Christmas has always been my favourite, because its the season of "Giving & Loving". We learn to forgive, the mistake that others do, the hurt that they inflicted on us & the unreasonable demands that they requested; we also learn to love our loved ones, to appreciate what they have done & to be thankful of all the things that happens coz God does it so that we can learn to give & love. Hmm sounds so sentimental. Well this is something that always happen to me when Christmas is coming. However, it seems slightly different this year, mainly i have begun working and this job requires me to fully commit myself especially on festivals. The mood of Christmas is no longer that strong, i hardly can feel the festive air. i can only feel the tense & pressure from my work, my messy life and hectic schedule...God helps me...

Playful & Naughty Gal

2004-12-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

*Sigh* i had once seriously warned Shuyun against it, telling her all the cons of continuing it. Yet when it come to myself, i simply indulged in the fun and excitement of it. Now i regret, especially when i had just "burnt my fingers", i should stop it before i completely "burnt myself". i just wanted to have fun and was being playful. Though i did gave it some serious thoughts, & tried to remind myself constantly that it is wrong of me to do that, but somehow i just can't reject the satisfaction of it. i really swear that i did gave some thoughts to the effects of my doings however, i'm just not strong-willed enough to stop myself in sinking into it further. What should i do??? i'm in a dilemma, i know i'm wrong but i'm not doing anything about it. Until something happened, and its like a slap in my face (actually its the 2nd time) i need to WAKE UP!!! i must stop it, control myself & do something else. if not, i will ruin myself and others. i wish to go back to the past.

Money-minded people

2004-12-12T18:35:00.000+08:00

Thought that today being my off day and also sunday, might go out with Jasmine & family but she is studying for exams so...Slightly looking forward for my nieece to come coz even though she is timid & super not friendly, she is still my nieece, the cute little gal whose smile can bring warmth to any cold hearts, but not looking forward to her parents who would be coming. Don't know when i being to dislike you & over the years it just accumulated...Today it just hit rock bottom, i despise you, from the bottom of my heart. Either you get money minded over the years we live apart or you are just too henpecked to do anything about it. I HATE YOU!!!

Nokia 6260

2004-12-08T20:25:00.000+08:00

So cool!!

Fancl Spree

2004-12-03T01:16:00.000+08:00

Recently received a mailer from Fancl informing me that there's a new outlet opening at IMM, alot of freebies would be given if you purchase this or that. Hmmm...pretty attracted to all that especially if it could help me "save some money" in the long run. Anyway, went to IMM specially to take a look and thought of getting 1 or 2 items. However, ended up buying tons of things and getting lotsa freebies.

Went Daiso to check out more things and of course not forgetting to "take a peek" at Ken-San. But failed to see him *sigh*

Window Shopping

2004-11-30T21:31:00.000+08:00

My computer is finally up & working!!!

2004-11-28T13:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!! After so many months of hovering around without my PC i felt so handicapped & now its finally up again...i can start my auction, blogging, chatting etc again...so happy *_*

Customer complains

2004-10-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

Most companies have the same policy "Customer is always right" but is that always the case? Afte today i doubt. We will always try to provide excellent customer service within the company's guidelines & policy, sometimes even extending beyond that to help the customer. But it seems that we are not always appreciated especially when the customer is someone who tries to make things difficult. i had tried to be extra helpful by taking in a unusual customer's order on last friday. i thought by giving the right instructions, things would go smoothly. However, I AM WRONG!I wasn't in the office during the weekend & problems for the order occurred. She started to making things really difficult for my colleague causing her much distress. For 2 consecuetive days, she kept calling the office & making riduculous demands on my colleague. She was pretty upset when i saw her, pretty angry as well. I felt weird when she looked at me telling me about the whole thing. She has got these accusing eyes piercing into me like "its all your fault for taking in such order". i felt bad. i tried to apologise & help but to no avail.

Anyway since my manager talk to both of us on friday, i have concluded:
1. My manager is really a very clever & analytical person who is really able to look at things from a broad perspective. I really respect him & is grateful for having such a manager.
2. My colleague is an emotional person who is more or less afraid of trouble. She seems to tears quite easily too.

*yawns* gona sleep soon, wonder when can i repair my computer so that i can start to do something about my overflooded pics in my digicam, thinning auction & my listless blog.

what should i write?

2004-10-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

Its been long since i write anything especially since i don't have Internet access at work. Have been really busy at work. Work is troubling especially when i make mistake & its due to carelessness & some silly mistake. Lucky for me, my boss wasn't so angry with me but i'm pretty angry at myself. I blame myself for not being careful, i get frustrated, i felt stoopid. *pissed*

Anyway, will try my best to be more careful. I'm getting sleepy...Tomorrow's a special day, will i ever forget it?

Updates

2004-10-08T01:11:00.000+08:00

Very sleepy wana do some updates but ZZZzzzzzz...anyway met up with Zihui, Mich, Ah Gek & Yee Tat, had a great time coz as usual me & Zihui were the "joke" & i enjoyed laughing to my hearts content. Sort of stress-relieve for me especially to prepare me for tomorrow coz i will be the ONLY OE around & have to solve the endless problems thrown to me & the reimbursement which i can hardly find time to begin...Well shall take all these as trainings for me coz it seems like i learn something new everyday...Yawn...

Movie...anyone?

2004-10-05T21:40:00.000+08:00

*Sigh* Friends always tell me that i have an "attached face" which i always wonder why? Anyway, i'hv concluded that's why i always never get "tao hua" what's more good "tao hua". Why is that so? *Sigh* "Fire" is really untouchable & scorching. Shall never "touch" it. I should just let things be it is, keep to the promise i told myself & you.

Since working, life is quite boring though i have very happening colleagues. i wana go out have fun & enjoy myself while i'm still young. Have been wanting to catch a movie for a long time but hardly have the time.

Shows that i wana watch:

Another show is Raising Helen. Wish that someone will go watch with me or can lend me disc. *_*

lazing around

2004-10-03T01:34:00.000+08:00

Felt so good for being at home on saturday, doing my favourite things, like watching tv, reading, drinking ice-cream coffee etc...

Have tried "playing with fire" which i shouldn't be doing especially if it will hurt me & someone else...i must stopped it...

another accident...

2004-10-01T01:50:00.000+08:00

Had a super frantic day today, the phone kept ringing non-stop then everyone walked in & out of the office. The cakes order are really hitting the high coz children is just round the corner. Then i received a shocking call from Zihui. That is Michelle had an accident. *eyes pop out* At first Zihui, was relating the story to me slowly, then i asked her to speed up then she talk very fast. Anyway, her first main concern is she might be the next one. But don't worry gal, i'm sure you will be fine. Since Mich & i have "absorb" the bad luck. After worked, called Mich & found out the whole accident. Then i concluded that both of us are pretty brave, coz we took the accidents quite calmly.

Today had to leave the office early, coz i need to go to remove my stitches. Had been feeling a little upset, coz due to the "big" bandage over my stitches, i've been receiving weird stares from strangers, colleagues. Some colleagues even made fun of me & i feel upset. Why do some people like to "Jian Li Ta Ren Bei Shang Zai Zi Ji De Kuai Le". Anyway, i learnt to endure it. The doctor who removed the stitches was pretty much the same as the doctor who sew it. Both treated me like i've no feelings. The pain was excruciating. Giving me nothing to stop the pain, until i had to pop painkillers myself to numb the pain. Anyway the scare is smaller than what i imagine, hope that it will go away soon. Now my face is slightly swollen & "hei qing" on one side.

Oh no Scar for life??

2004-09-27T20:22:00.000+08:00

Had a bad fall & super bad scare on saturday. So malu, fell down outside the toilet at the office as the floor was very slippery, then was unconscious as i hit my head (sounds a bit drama though but i kept recapping but couldn't seems to remember what actually happend) All i could remember are some parts, eg. like after i fell down i walked back into the toilet to wash the wound then the whole basin was filled with blood, i sat down on the toilet floor & a few colleagues came & checked on me but the blood won't stop coz i think my chin hit the cupboard outside the toilet & it caused a deep wound, one of my colleague brought me back to the office & told the rest that i need to go & get "stitched up", then i was in the cab & i took out my mirror & saw a pretty deep wound & (i swear!) i saw my "flesh" then i reached Alexandra hospital & the doctor looked at me & i was then wheeled (my very first time) into the A&E's treating room. A nurse came to jab my buttocks twice then i was wheeled into an individual room to get the stitches. But before that, i was given another jab on my chin to "numb" it for the stitches. However, when the doctor cleansed my wound, i could still feel the pain, & he was extremely rough (which i described as: "he treated me like a piece of meat & not a person") Ouch. Then my mom came with a pot (yes, she went to get her free pot from NTUC before coming to fetch me, Argh, should i be angry with her??) After that, i had to wait for half an hour, before i was allowed to go back. As i didn't want to be admitted so they need to observe whether my hit on the head is serious or not. But in the mean time, the nurse came to jab my hand again for "Po Shang Feng" & another doctor came to take my blood pressure, before taking it, i told him i have always have very low blood pressure, & he didn't seems to believe but then when he measure it was very low, he still laughed at me saying that its very low, & he measured it again. Still low, so it convinced him. Anyway, time's up then the doctor came to tell me i coould go off. I can go remove the stitches at any polyclinic or GP. Then i slowly walked with mom to collect some medicines for pain relief, then took a cab to go home. In the meantime, i have a bandage on my chin & i feel so pain all over.

Mooncake Festival

2004-09-25T02:14:00.000+08:00

Due to the Mooncake Festival, my office daily is mad like hell. Mooncake orders, enquiries, etc, etc...Everyday get into the office, the phone will start to ring non-stop. Then everyday work till very late, like today had to work till midnight coz we had to tally the orders & packed it. *Sigh*

Went for dinner with Lester & Yee Tat on Wed, talk alot of rubbish & funny stuff, laugh till i stomache ache. Then have to quickly rush back to catch the finals of The Amazing Race. Yipee so happy coz Chip & Kim won the race.

Wanted to write many things in the blog but simply too tired...still have to update the auction...

Being a sales girl??

2004-09-17T01:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was off day, so the moment i got into the office, my colleague passed me a stack of outlets to call to inform them that the mooncakes had been sold out temporary. Wah, i didn't know that S'porean love to eat mooncake so much (hehe maybe bcoz i have never eaten mooncake in my life coz i simply hate to eat bean stuff coz they always taste so powdery, well i remember the only time i tried to eat it was when i had to tried the japanese "kueh" from takashimaya for my friend's parents). Anyway, the whole day breeze past pretty fast, had so many things to learn & remember & thousands of problems to solve. Was thinking of working slightly late today, since that day i went off early bcoz i had to return my convocation's gown. But my colleague went off early, then i called Mich & she said that she is on her way there so i quickly packed up & left. But the journey was slow, waited very long for hte bus, then the bus was slow so it took me abt 45 mins to reach suntec.

Finally reached there, but walked around & couldn't find the gals. On the way, all the food smell so nice. So tempted to get something to eat, but decided to wait for the gals & eat together. Then i found the booth & we quickly went off to "sourced" for free food. Yeah, had so much fun trying out so many things to eat. Mich couldn't stand me coz i kept eating & eating non-stop. Then bought Katong Laksa to eat, since i saw Ah Ben introducing the Katong Laksa that day, i have wanted to try it. Then went back to the booth to help Zihui promote her cakes. Enjoyed myself thoroughly promoting, coz i got this sense of satisfaction when i could bring many customers to the booth & in the end, they made purchases. But pretty disappointed with the staffs coz they don't seem enthusiastic enough to try to push sales. Anyway, really had so much fun, Zihui said next time we could open our own store & business will definitely be good. Well in the meantime, we must try to pick up the ropes as quickly & save money as much so we can achieve this dream.

Lesson on observant

2004-09-13T12:59:00.000+08:00

Freaking idiot! You think you can push everything to me to do? Then you can go enjoy your lunch, WTF!!! I'm going crazy. First, i need to "re-assess" myself so that i know how to observe people better. Then i will "RE-ASSess"you, idiot!

Another thing, i'hv never thought that i was a "vending machine" WHY DO EVERYONE HAVE TO VENT THEIR ANGER ON ME!!! a**h***.

Damn hot

2004-09-12T11:59:00.000+08:00

Arrrggghhh, WTF!!! It's like damn hot in the office coz the aircon brokedown. Wonder whether all the cakes will melt or not? Later become "chao sng" then everybody die, sepecially the aircon technician, coz everyone has beenpaging him since morning 7 am & he has not return any calls. Idiot!!! Then some more super bored coz i've done what i'm suppose to do, then feeling abit lazy, don't wish to ask Snr for more work, so pretending that i'm stillin the midst of my so-called work. But now is like really REALLY bored, how i wish i brought along my wedding planning stuff to do in the office. Thoughi've tried to draft it out without any materials but it's really lacking. Another stoopid thing is that my PC in the office has no internet access, so right now this blog is written by email then updated onto the blog...MUAKHAHAHAHAHA......Hmmm...suddenly felt so cold air & i think the aircon is coming back....Yipee...But shit, suppose to go lunch at canteen but there's no food, ask colleagueto ta bao coz too lazy to go out & wish to save some money. Freaking borrring day...

konking ******

2004-09-08T01:56:00.000+08:00

wanted very badly to update my blog about my graduation, my work etc but really can't make it anymore coz have been waking up around 5 plus for the past 2 days & had a mad rush today from meeting Qunyu to take my Spotlight card then meet Cherie for the "Seventeen" Bash at Zouk. Then went to shop for things at Spotlight & shoes for my cousin. its almost 10 before we had our dinner at Aijisen.

Cannot make it anymore...ZZZzzz.......

First Day of Work

2004-09-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

Damn sleepy *yawnz* coz long time never wake up so early liao, then gotta squeeze into the bus with so many people. Once i got onto the bus, i just kunz off. "Hope everything will turn out well & proceed smoothly" i was chanting to myself. Well i realised i was going to be late so decided to stop around SAJC then take a cab, scarely the taxi-driver don't know how to get to my work place coz the car cannot make a turn around my office, so we ended up taking a longer route which caused me to be late (as usual). On the cab, the gal from HR called me & i told her i was on the way. *panicked* Quickly went to her office then she greeted me with a smile & a stack of stuffs which i'm suppose to read for half hour. The stuffs turn out to be the employee handbook, organisation background & letter of employment. Half hour later, she came back & briefly told me about the letter of employment, signed & that's it! *stunned* so simple ah?? Then she took me to the office building, to introduce me to the relevant people whom i greeted at one moment & forgot the next. While walking around, i had to carry with me my very heavy bag & a big paper bag with my certs & stuff (courtesy of my Snr who asked me to bring) Damn. Then she brought me to my office which is at the Annex building & "hand over" me to my Snr. Well, Snr brought me around the whole building again, but lucky this time round i left my stuff at my desk so its much lighter. He first brought me to the production area where they make the cakes & pasteries, but before going in, we need to put on"full gear" that is the white jacket, hat (which looks like shower cap) & shoes cover. It took me a while to get the hat in coz i have long hair & i must use the hat to cover all my hair, *phew* finally. Walk through the whole area & boy, its cold & he introduced me to more people but they all have their mask on so, i can't remember again. Then next we went to the warehouse which is like hot & stuffy. Then we went to the chiller, which is brbrbrbbrbrbrbr very cold, Snr said the coldest it could get is like -38Deg, then i saw some packers just wearing normal tshirts packing. Wah, amazed!!!Came back to my desk & guess wat? i was given another stack of stuff to read, eyes really getting blurz. Soon its time for lunch, blahz, no one ask me to go lunch (so sad), so i thicked-skinned, i ask Snr & tag along with the GUY's lunch, include my OM, FM, FE, Snr & me (the only female). They drove out to eat at Mei Ling Street hawker & paid for my lunch. Thoughtout, i just kept quiet & eat my food, coz i don't know what to say. Anyway during their conversation, i could feel that they are really "clever", of course being a senior management sure must be clever, but their knowledge is vast (can i use this word??). Must really learn from them. Went back & continued to read my stuff over & over again. Until after 5.30pm, my colleague asked me why i'm not going back then i said i'm not sure of the knock-off time & she laughed.*Silly me* Then she told Snr, then he came to tell me the knock-off time is 5.30pm. Yippeee!!!

Waiting...

2004-09-02T12:43:00.000+08:00

*Yawnz* woke & realise that the sky is dark then it started to rain...damn it...whenever i have to wake up early it will rain then i would think of going back to sleep...my eyes still feel tired especiailly my right eye which is red & swollen (hmmm, hope that by tomorrow it will subside). Grab breakfast & start my routine of mails clearing, auction updating, checking out the forum. After that cooked maggi mee for dad & me for lunch. Have to get ready soon to go out for interview (again).

Wish myself luck!!!

hectic & irratic day

2004-09-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

*Sigh* its another day of early interview...Get ready quickly with my half-opened eyes...ZZZzzz...Yicks!! Looked into the mirror & realised that there is a red bump on my right eye...Jiat lat...how??? Can it subside by friday???

As i neared the place of interview, i kept telling myself, no its not my type of job...No, no, no...but anyway i was there then WTH just go see what it's all about. The interviewer is a middle-aged man whom i think is a human resource personnel but he told me that as the position would need someone who could write minutes for meetings, he wanted me to start writing the minutes for the interview. i'm like "duh". Its just turns me off. Anyway, since i'm there i just "entertained" him by scribbling...as i was scribbling a thought struck me, this job is suitable for a friend...so anyway i just jotted down what he said so i could pass to my friend. When the intervie ended, i went out of the building & had to start walking a very long distance before i reached a bus-stop. Good thing: i saw the familiar red "xiang si dou". Bad thing: its a place surrounded by factories (near to jurong island) there are simply not many gals around so i got stared at by all the passing vehicles (some even honked at me) & passing people, but i simply ignored. Waited for a while but there was still no sight of the bus, then i saw a cab, so quickly flagged it down & went to Jurong Point to send my parcel & shop around.

Came home & rest but could hardly do that coz i realised there were too much housework waiting for me, so i just try to gather all my strength & get on with the work. When i felt that i could no longer take it & need a breather, i lie on the couch to rest then MY PHONE RANG...tang, tang, tang (the theme song of FRIENDS)...its Cherie, she said she forgot to tell me that she & Mich meeting up to eat & shop...after some persuasion, i decided to go even though i was so tired...Met up & eat sushi at Sakae since its the "Red plate promotion day" then shop around...While walking i saw a friend (maybe i should say its an ex-friend since i no longer acknowledge her), anyway i pretended not to see her & my defence "armour" came out...i always react in that manner when i see people whom i don't wish to see & people who will hurt me...in order not to get hurt, i will arm myself with whatever sort of "armour" to protect myself.

starry-eyed

2004-08-30T22:05:00.000+08:00

Early morning, woke up get ready to go for another of those interviews which i would no longer cherished any hope over. Everytime i get hopeful, my hope will be dashed. i shall just concentrate on my wedding planner job & make it full time, most importantly, make it profitable. Saw someone whom i prefer not to see & pretended that i was looking elsewhere & didn't see him. Went to This Fashion to check out the top that i need & at the same time signed up for the member card.

After the interviews, i hop down to Orchard Rd to find the black sling back shoes that i had been targetting coz it will be an ideal shoe for the convocation this friday. What should i wear? i was informed earlier on that CK Tang will be having a 12% discount for their card members, so went over to take a look & bought a white cardigan which cost $14.50.

Before going back, i decided that since i have a little spare time i will drop by at IMM. Whew that was a good choice coz i saw someone whom i wanted to meet up with (this is rare coz i usually avoid meeting people whom i know but she is an exception). She is my unknown friend, whom i had been reading about her from her blog. At first, i saw her back view then i remembered in one of her entries, she had a pic with the same set of outfit. The i tried to pretend to look at things so that i could catch a glimpse of her front view. (hmmm...this sound so psycho, well i hope not, coz i simply think that she is a very interesting gal who i wish to get to know as friend) i could even recognise her mom & sister. She looks so petite. How i envy her figure.

Something pissed me off when i am writing this blog, f**k. Why do i have to constantly answer that question over & over again. Can you all just stop asking me coz i don't have the anwer to it myself? i don't wish to keep self-questioning coz its destroy my confidence. It also decrease my motivation till negativity if it continues this way. Arrrggghhh!!!

My First Driving Lesson

2004-08-27T15:46:00.000+08:00

Woke up realising that i have forgotten all the driving rules that i have learnt at the basic theory lessons. i began to panick, oh shit! Quickly took some time to glance throught the book...Damn it, time is never on my side (have to start preparing to get out of the house, really need to work on the preparation time that i took to get out of the house, always a slow coach). Lucky day for me coz both buses cames quickly & i got to BBDC within record time. "Clocked in" then immediately went to look at my instructor's picture, boy, he looked so stern. Stressed...Had some more time on hand, so again i took out the book to glance through but there were so many people walking around, it sure is distracting. Then had to prep myself for the instructor, walked to the car area but felt so lost coz i am not sure where to meet my instructor. But since everyone was standing around then i just followed. Finally found my "car" & instructor. Hee...instructor in reality don't look so stern. He is actually very friendly & easy-going, teaching me from the basics & telling me what is the right way of driving. Was very stressed while driving but had so much fun. However, my car kept moving towards the left side of the road. Not very good at controlling the clutch, accelerator & the steering wheel. Damn it. i felt like i was drunk driving. Anyway the whole session was enriching & fun.

Really need to learn more about blogging

2004-08-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

Just visited, some of my favourite blogs, then realised that my blog sucks (big time, manz) yucky, yucky, yucks...what can i do to make my blog nicer? i don't even know the exact design i would like for my blog, what's more i hate HTML code coz i simply don't understand any at all...Hope that God will send me a kind soul to teach me *wishing*

My First Facial

2004-08-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

Was pretty excited & scared to go for my very FIRST FACIAL. Its actually at the home of a distant cousin. Have booked the appointment rather late & last minute, coz i wanted to try it out since last time, but now its like my convocation is coming nearer & i hope to be prettier (hope photos will be pretty even if i looked at it 10, 20, 30 years later).

When i reached the place, my cousin (including my family) was already waiting for me (as usual i was late again, i should really do some soul-searching on my time management). i was brought to a room with all the facial "appliances". First impression, sound nice (has very soothing background music) & smell nice (has the smell of lavender). She is very patient, explaining to me all about my skin, how i should take care of it & what she will do for me. The whole procedure was quite pleasant except for the pimple extraction part which is quite painful but i bear with it coz i told myself i will be prettier after that (silly me). The best part was the eye & shoulder massage, i could feel my nerves relaxing, almost fell asleep. After the session, she even gave me sample of the facial wash & lotion so as to see the reaction on my skin. After the extraction, my face was covered with many red spots, scared "ma lu" so took a cab home.

My First Fashion Show

2004-08-24T23:55:00.000+08:00

Went to collect the gown today for convocation at The Riverwalk. Then went to Habourfront Mall. Then went to City Hall for a fashion show & its like my very first!!! Even though its a show put up by the fashion designing schools, but it was very entertaining & enjoyable. i was pretty excited especially thanks to Michelle who is able to get the seats for us. Whoa, the models are like super skinny (most of them) & tall (what else?) & the clothes that they wore are very interesting & creative though i think some of them are not meant to be worn normally. After that went to Plaza Singupura, for Gelare (slurp). Today seems like a travelling day, going from one place to another, seems tiring on one hand but (since reading an article about learning to look at things from a more positive angle) it seems fulfilling on the other. Coz if not i will be lazying around at home.

Finally gotta connect to the Net after so many days. However, it still creates lotsa problems for me (eg. my files are all in the other computer) now using Min's laptop since she is in Australia enjoying herself.

School again

2004-08-19T17:12:00.000+08:00

Here i am in school again, utilising the Internet access, have tried fixing the other CPU to the monitor, but can't read...Damn it...i must be a computer idiot, everytime my computer has problems, i need to rely on him but WTF we will always end up quarrelling because of that, I HATE IT!!! i should probably start learning otherwise there will be more arguments.

Yesterday's work was quite good, boss is quite nice & i think i can click with her, she seems very easy going. Ate lotsa buffet yesterday, gonna burst my stomach somehow, hmmm, for the next few days must really cut down on food, otherwise i will never get my ideal weight.

Last night, saw Matilda Tao on TV, thinks that she is really an amazing person whom i can learn from, hmmm, once my computer is in order, i will have to start researching on her...nian qing bu yao liu bai...

Pissed...

2004-08-17T12:52:00.000+08:00

It has been so many freaking days, yet my computer still can't work. WTF!! The person who usually helps me is not much of a help, got to go find someone whom i can rely on to help me asap whenever my computer konked out. After so many days of not logging on to the Net, i think i'm going crazy since friends who know me very well, i'm a Internet & TV freak, withou this 2 things in my life i think i will go crazy. Have to specially go to some place to log on to the free Internet access (where else but school, since its free, quite fast, somewhere near my house eventhough i gotta take 2 buses to reach here, but WTH) Really feel like drowning without the Net access, i wonder how i use to live my life 10 years ago when computer wasn't in my life yet...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2004-08-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

Dear MS dearest,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (my perfect guy, the one & only)

Love always, Ping

Motivation???

2004-08-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

Woke up in the morning & the first thing will be to on the PC, *sigh* sianz feel so tired even though i have slept enough. Very lethargic, seems so life-less. There should be things that i have to get it done but its like once i on the PC, i will clear my emails, update my auction, visit the forum, visit some blogs by then its like evening already...Arrrggghhh...gotta finish reading the books that i borrow from the library yesterday, i was flipping the magazines & come across

this very pretty shoe, hmmm...where can i find this in S'pore???

How do i motivate myself to accomplish things? Is it because i have been slacking for way too long? Anyone can help me??? i really don't know.......

My lunch

2004-08-10T14:45:00.000+08:00

my Pooh noodle, can you see the Pooh fish cake?

A card from you

2004-08-07T11:00:00.000+08:00

Hmm, nowadays very seldom friends will send me anything (even for X'mas or Chinese New Year) i seldom receive any card or stuff like that. Well, i woke up today & saw a card from a friend (you know who you are ) You are concern cause you have read my blog, i sound sad to you but i'm not really sad, probably just extremely grouchy & in the complain-mode. Anyway thanks for you concern (if you happen to read my blog again) will date you out
some day for a drink. Still friends??

*hope to receive things like this again*

Somehow this is rather different

2004-08-05T12:58:00.000+08:00

Put an X next to the option you identify yourself with..

[ ] I wish I was a different ethnicity.
[ ] I have an eating disorder.
[x] I am short.
[ ] I am tall.
[ ] I think I'm really attractive.
[x] I prefer winter over summer.
[ ] I am a geek.
[x] I am a shopaholic.
[x] I am reasonably intelligent.
[x] I am attracted to girls.
[x] I am attracted to boys.
[x] I like British accents.
[ ] I smoke regularly.
[ ] I smoke socially.
[ ] I drink socially.
[ ] I drink regularly.
[ ] I get drunk easily.
[ ] I do drugs.
[x] I will never date a bad kisser.
[ ] I've lied to avoid kissing them again.
[ ] I brush my hair at least 50 times a night.
[ ] I am religious.
[x] I am not religious but have morals.
[x] I lie frequently.
[x] I am impulsive.
[x] I am hardworking.
[ ] I liked Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.
[ ] She's All That is one of my favourite movies.
[ ] I am good at History.
[x] I speak more than two languages.
[x] I enjoy taking pictures.
[x] I like spending money on myself.
[x] I like spending money on others.
[ ] I have a regular income.
[ ] I earn money on a job-by-job basis.
[x] I pay my own bills.
[ ] I rely on my parents for money.
[x] I can cook.
[ ] I enjoy cleaning.
[x] Tidyness is a must in my life.
[ ] I like clutter.
[ ] My idea of good music is Britney Spears.
[ ] I have heard of Blonde Redhead.
[ ] I enjoy Blonde Redhead.
[x] I am fashion-conscious.
[x] I have good taste.
[x] People tell me I have good taste.
[ ] I excel academically.
[ ] I am told I have yet to fulfill my potential.
[ ] I am good at sports.
[ ] I am good at certain sports.
[x] I couldn't do sports to save my life.
[x] I am creative.
[ ] I am artistically inclined.
[x] I want to be an artist when I grow up.
[ ] I want to be an engineer when I grow up.
[ ] I eat when I'm upset.
[x] I eat when I'm happy.
[ ] I cannot adapt to change.
[ ] I am interested in politics.
[x] I download MP3s.
[ ] I have done underaged drinking.
[ ] I have gone underaged clubbing.
[ ] I can dance reasonably well.
[ ] I can dance extremely well.
[ ] I dance like a cardboard gorilla.
[x] I can sing.
[ ] I sing like someone stepped on my foot.
[ ] I can swim.
[ ] I enjoy surveys.
[x] I enjoy surveys when I'm bored.
[x] I keep a journal.
[ ] My teachers don't like me.
[x] I enjoy controversy.
[x] I can be a bitch/bastard.
[x] I have a thing for bad boys/girls.
[ ] I have tattoos.
[ ] I've been in a nudist colony.
[x] I'm not sure if I want to have children.
[x] I'm not sure if I'll get married.
[ ] I know who i'll marry.
[ ] Someone has a crush on me.
[ ] I am interesting.
[x] I am a good liar.
[x] People enjoy talking to me.
[x] I annoy people from time to time.
[ ] I am a born leader.
[ ] I am a born leader but shouldn't lead.
[ ] I've snuck out of the house.
[ ] I enjoy felching.
[ ] I have a foot fetish.
[x] I have a shoe fetish.
[ ] I watch Sex And The City.
[ ] I don't think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty.
[ ] I want to be J Lo. HAHAHAHAHAHA
[ ] I cut myself.
[ ] I have cut myself.
[x] I hate people who pretend to be suicidal.
[x] I hate popular people.
[x] I think cheerleading is a sport.
[x] I am photogenic.
[ ] I live in Chucks.
[ ] I think graffiti is art.
[ ] I have dated a criminal.
[x] I have been cheated on.
[ ] I have cheated on someone.
[x] I have a temper.
[x] I like playgrounds.
[ ] I dance in the rain.
[ ] I am obsessed with Shakespeare.
[ ] I have tanlines.
[x] My favourite color is pink.
[ ] My favourite color is black.
[ ] I would classify myself as emo.
[ ] I am musically inclined.
[x] I like listening to music.
[x] I like music-blasting cars.
[x] Thongs are comfortable.
[x] I like flip-flops.
[x] I know what monogamy is
[x] ... and I believe in it.
[x] I want to be a social worker when I grow up.
[x] I have siblings
[ ] My siblings is fun.
[x] If someone would like me.
[x] I am lonely.
[x] I love OC

ToTal ConFusion

2004-08-04T18:18:00.000+08:00

In a total state of confusion, due to time constraint & of course money constraint, i need to decide whether i need to go to Jasmine'e convocation in Australia. To go or not to go? *Sigh*

Another thing to consider is the free lance marketing job, should i take it on? Coz the boss seems to want me to be totally commit in the job (that means i may have to stop looking for a perm job, & devote my time more on the marketing job) *Sigh* What should i do? i can't really think or i can't seems to think??? Coz i don't know where to begin, how to go about? Arrggghhhh!!!!!!

i really don't know where to start, i don't seems to have a job but on the other hand, i seems to have too many job. i have my wedding planner freelance (i may have to start registering my own company? Sylvia, what's your thoughts?), my freelance (again) for my cousin, Stella for being the accounts person helping source for clients (Hmmm, how do i actually start sourcing for clients??? Cherie, i think we are facing the same question) & if i take on the freelancing for the marketing company, Whoa, i will have 3 free lancing job, is that good or bad? *sigh* really can't think...

too stressed, may have to catch some movies to de-stress...anyone interested???

maybe can't watch this, coz its been for quite some time, or no one will wana watch it with me liao...

this is a must watch show

Consider to watch, especially this type of show must watch with your loved ones

getting up early

2004-08-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

*yawn* today had to get up early coz planning to go visit Ah Ma with mom, since grandpa passed away, i begin to reflect & reflect that i really should "buck up" show more concern to my 2 lonely grandma. Used to think "OK i must be more concern of their life but i really did not do anything to it". Not sure what struck me but just had the sudden urge to really care for them instead of just saying & not doing. (Probably was affected by this friend of mine, who is really closed to the grandmother & was deeply sadden by her death even until today)

So i dragged myself out of bed early morning at 7am (usually i sleep till 10+ - 11 since i'm bumming at home), grabbed breakfast, bathe then went out, carrying tons of clothes for Ah Ma maid & food. Was very sleepy on the bus but was glad that Cherie entertained me coz today happen to be her birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! again, hmm how many times have i wish you today???) anyway chat to her along the way to keep myself awake. Boy was Ah Ma glad that i went over today, the smile on her face is so 灿烂. Not soon after, we went out to the market to stock up Ah Ma's fridge. Yipeee, i like market (some people will probably think that i'm crazy, market so hot, so wet & stinko, but i simple love the fishy smell, not sure why but i just love it). Had so much fun exploring the market, there was a makeshift stall selling modern bags & accessories, a shop selling some pretty clothes, of course there are many shops selling groceries. After buying a "car load" full of stuff, we went back & found Ah Ma waiting for us at the lift area, wondering what took us so long. Then we went to eat out lunch immediately (it was actually around 11.30am, so early!!) but we were all hungry. After that, mom helped Ah Ma & her maid cut hair while i lazed (hahaha, actually i took a nap) & when i woke up it was time to leave...sigh...Ah Ma seems to 舍不得我们. But i told her i will come by again, in my mind i told myself "Yes, i will try to keep to the promise"

Some thoughts...

2004-08-02T00:51:00.000+08:00

Nothing much happenings these few days, except that since i embarked on a very special task which i set for myself, that is to start learning how to observe people. Shall begin by observing family & friends. From then, i will try to see people's reaction & try to think of the rationale as to why they do such things, why such behaviour or reation etc...i realise a different side of one particularly close friend this thursday while we were chatting on the phone, well, we have been such close friends for so long that i realise that she will sometimes not share all her thoughts & feelings with me as compared to the past (are we drifting apart? i hope not coz i've been pretty dependent of her) whenever i'm happy or sad, she is one of the first person whom i will share it with. i'm not saying that she must tell me everything but, it makes me see her in a different perspective. Most of the time, it seems like i'm the matured one, telling her things that she shouldn't do or stuff like that, but in actual fact it may not be the case. i'm beginning to learn to see another side of her. Learn to see things from her point of view & not my own, not forcing her to accept my thoughts.

Well, another special task i have for myself (trying to learn from my favourite cousin, even though she is younger than me, but i since she went over to Australia to study & we have been chatting on the Net, i see another side of her, she is childish infront of the family, but she actually has very serious thinking & have a GREAT HEART. She is especially forgiving, which i think i'm not that capable of) that is to learn to have a bigger heart to learn to forgive others & always give others the benefit of the doubt. i can get very agitated easily & may sometimes keep grudges inside me. From her, i can see that some people may hurt me but by forgiving them & forgeting what they have done to me, i may actually feel better instead of constantly reminding myself how much these people have hurt me. ITS NOT WORTH IT, getting upset over such things. It will only make my life miserable.

Hmm...so much for a night, i can sense that i'm getting more & more emotional (way of thinking & behaving is constantly lead by my heart instead of rationale) Hmph, what can i do about it?

The Story of Giving

2004-07-30T11:42:00.000+08:00

Happen to saw this story from one of my favourite blog, just wana put it here since i think that it's pretty meaningful

"One day an old man boarded a bus. As he was going up the steps, one of his shoes slipped off. The door closed and the bus moved off so he was unable to retrieve it. The old man calmly took off his other shoe and threw it out of the window.A young man on the bus saw what happened, and could not help going up to the old man and asking, "I noticed what you did, sir. Why did you throw out your other shoe?"The old man promptly replied, "So that whoever finds them will be able to use them."The old man in the story understood a fundamental philosophy for life - do not hold on to something simply for the sake of possessing it or because you do not wish others to have it.We lose things all the time. The loss may seem to us grievous and unjust initially, but loss only happens so that positive changes can occur in our lives. We should not always assume that losing something is bad, because if things do not shift, we'll never become better people or experience better things. That's not to say of course that we only lose "bad" things; it simply means that in order for us to mature emotionally and spiritually, and for us to contribute to the world, the interchange between loss and gain is necessary.Like the old man in the story, we have to learn to let go. The world had decided that it was time for the old man to lose his shoe. Maybe this happened to add momentum to a series of events leading to a better pair of shoes for the old man. Maybe the search for another pair of shoes would lead the old man to a great benefactor. Maybe the world decided that someone else needed the shoes more. Whatever the reason, we can't avoid losing things. The old man understood this. One of his shoes had gone out of his reach. The remaining shoe would not have been much help to him, but it would be a cherished gift to a homeless person desperately in need of protection from the ground.Hoarding possessions does nothing to make us or the world better. We all have to decide constantly if some things or people have run their course in our lives or would be better off with others. We then have to muster the courage to give them away."

How many times have we received these kind of inspiring stories through email? We acknowledged them and feel touched by them and we strive to do things like them. But how many times can we actually do it?

changing schedule?

2004-07-30T08:45:00.000+08:00

*yawns* woke up very early at 7.30am to get ready go out for discussion with my freelance marketing company, but when i was almost ready, she sms me that she got a fever so she got to push back the meeting. (i'm getting lazy, don't wish to go out so i told her i can't make it & change it to next week). She seems very enthusiastic & eager to get me involved in her work. Can i trust her? Is she going to "cheat" me of free labour, since i'm not paid full time? Anyway since i'm pretty free & i think i can learn things from her, then why not, take things as it comes, if not THE GANG is going to scold me again the next time they see me coz i have still yet to find a job *sigh*

Aimless...

2004-07-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

Was out with Cherie just now. Last night, Cherie asked whether her friends (who happen to be 2 guys) can join us today, but i felt "funny" coz firstly, i don't know them, secondly, they are guys & we are actually meeting up to gossip & shop. Is it me or what, i simply don't like it when i shop & guys are around. Don't think they can ever understand why gals like to shop. Can't even ask them for opinion for stuff coz i don't think they will ever give any constructive comments. Hmph, sounds like i hate them, well, i don't think so but i think such situation is simply GALS STUFF. Well, sort of disappointed today, firstly, i wanted to shop for presents, secondly, i just wanted to shop, thirdly, wanted to find a particular shop in FEP but i couldn't find it. Then it rained when i was going home.

Well, hope tomorrow will be a better day. First, i will be meeting up with the senior who has started a marketing company, & i happen to get to know her, will be doing some freelancing with her, hopes that it will turn out well, i will get to learn something, earn some income. Secondly, i will be going bugis (my favourite place), there is really nothing much to do there except go to the temple (hope God can bless me find an ideal job soon). And of course, not forgetting shopping again at my favourite $10 shop, but Cherie not there, hope i can grab some stuff even though i'm alone. (Well, i should seriously stop shopping, since i have no income at all, why do i need to buy so many clothes & stuff? Hmm...i think by buying beautiful things & beautifying myself, it makes me feel good & probably have more confidence, especially since my self-esteem is like SUPER LOW right now)

Should i still trust people? Since that day, Huimin & my bro told me they will be introducing jobs to me, but till now i have yet to hear from them. Is it me or what? I don't have the luck to get a job? I should continue to trust them & genuinely believe that they will really help me? Hmmm...well mom told me that she has a friend who has an opening at her tuition centre for kindergarten kids, as an English teacher, yeah, maybe i should take on that since i'm so in love with kids. (Remember my friend used to tell me "Next time you probably can become a teacher to kids since you like them so much")

ok i think enough of crapping for the night *yawnz* gonna sleep, if not tomorrow i will be very grouchy & will pay little attention to the discussion with my senior.

waiting...

2004-07-29T14:19:00.000+08:00

Pretty bored for the day coz its like waiting for the time to pass before i get ready to go out with Cherie to shop. Too bad Mich can't make it, if not there might be more interesting topics that will be generated. Anyway hope that later on can grab presents for Jasmine & my 哥哥. Don't know what to get them. Hmmm...got to go watch my 完全娛樂 now.

Oh yeah, going to wear the new skirt later. Hmmm...trying to look like Mischa Burton.

reDisCoveRing my fRiEnDs

2004-07-28T16:58:00.000+08:00

Super bored today so cleared up the longstanding email address that i have in my 2 important email accounts. Turn out to be quite fun coz ended up checking which of these old friends are actually are on friendster.

Silly picture to describe how i feel (courtesy of my mom)

a rAiNy dAy

2004-07-24T11:45:00.000+08:00

Last night was horrible, getting very emotional & bothered by some thoughts & feelings so did not really sleep at night...tossing & turning about in bed...till i heard the rain drops which rapidly turns into thunderstorm...suddenly i remembered when i was in secondary, i used to tell this friend of mine (who happens to be my partner coz he sit next to me) as i'm quite temperamental, so in order for him to gauge my feelings for the day...most of the time, he could tell by just looking at the weather...if there's sun shine, my mood will be hyper & very happy...if its raining, most of the time it means, i'm sad (probably my heart is raining in tears too )

a very SUAY day...

2004-07-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

Wonder if anyone can be very bad luck within a day? Today is really lousy many things did not happen as i wish but in the opposite way...

BAD LUCKS
- have a bad night last night, did not manage to sleep, kept tossing & turning
- wake up, mom did not make breakfast so i ate biscuit
- forget to wrap Cherie's present when i am going to meet her today, so in the morning quickly grab a wrapper to wrap (lucky got extra wrapper at home)
- forget to wrap stuff for buyer from Yahoo Auction, so again must quickly wrap
- buyer from Yahoo Auction, not sure whether she meeting me, still must go search her item then bring out together
- all the above accumulate to the time spent to get out of the house, so i am late, lucky turn out the interviewer is late so time pushed back
- interview was disrupted coz mom called
- went to bras basah to search for things but couldn't find
- meet Cherie for a while then need to leave liao, thought i could shop at PS for a while, coz need to meet buyer
- meet buyer but did not have small change, have to go change
- take train to tanjong pagar, to buy a moisturiser from the toiletries shop, shop turned out to be closed
- went to S$10 shop at Raffles but in a huge mess coz got too many lunch crowd, did not find anything
- went home, missed the lift, want to change nail color but old nail polish super difficult to wash off
- kept applying nail polish but could hardly get the correct color

then i realise after looking at the chinese calendar - Sheep has a "BAD" day today...should i be superstitious???

A friend whom i can never understand

2004-07-23T00:40:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...how should i describe this friend?? She was sort of like my very best friend during my secondary school days, but forgot what happened later on then we just drifted apart...

Not sure when or how did i sort of become the "appointed" person-in-charge of organising secondary school gatherings...however it always start with very happy feelings which will end up unhappy. Anyway, i have more or less get over that part & try not to agitate myself with silly or irritating comments, attitudes etc...i have told myself not to get upset again by all those silly & thoughtless people. Anyway i have concluded that some people are really not worth the effort no matter what i did, it will never please them...so finally no more major gatherings. Just small group of people to meet up.

So its another meet-up again, firstly, personal reason, secondly, coz many people has asked me so, thirdly, why not just get everyone together. ok i must get back to that friend of mine, the way she behaves never fail to "humor" me. She seems to always have a SOP (standard operating procedure) of giving me her answer.

SOP for giving me her answer
1. Ask me who is going/who did i ask along
2. Think for a very long time
3. Ask me who is going again (i will tell her some people)
4. Think for some time again
5. (Day before gathering) Ask me who is confirmed going AGAIN

Don't she get bored asking me that question again & again & AGAIN. Does it really bother her so much who is going to be there. Everytime she ask me such a question, i will in turn ask myself, is it that important who is going? Shouldn't a gathering be just a gathering, people just come coz they miss their old friends who share the same memory, why should it become "oh this person come then i come, oh that person come then i don't want to come" ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!

chinese poem

2004-07-21T15:22:00.000+08:00

想不到的别想
看不见的别看
听不懂的别听
说不出的别说
只要抓紧快乐就好
送你忘忧草
让你忘掉烦脑
送你开心果
让你常开心

found this passage while i was clearing my whiteboard...meaningful

Depressed...

2004-07-21T04:08:00.000+08:00

how depressed when you are put in a situation (or rather i stupidly put myself into a situation) when you have to learn about how a friend is doing through the Net...coz we no longer keep in contact...since then it has become a "blog" on my mind...actually for the past years memories of my friend has never left my mind (will it ever "disappear" in my mind???) happy to know that my friend is doing really fine & doing something that my friend has always wanted to do & that is to help the parents, provide some support, helping to relieve their workload...also glad to know that the whole family is fine...remember the last time, we used to have disagreement about my friend's sister & thus caused a very strained relationship. Probably then (or even now) i was too kiddish or to self-centred, only thinking of myself, why didn't i learn to to be a nice & forgiving person??? well anyway that is already the past (付水难收)

know that my friend is currently in town, want to meet up yet to scare to meet (anyway don't think that there's any CHANCE that it will happen), coz whenever there is a need for me to take an approach in solving any problem, i have always take the "avoidance" approach...probably somehow in my mind, i sort of pretended that nothing has ever happened...anyway since knowing that everything is doing well for my friend, that's already enough. One can never ask too much...God blessed my friend...

lucky this blog thing can let me write out my feelings & thoughts & it helps me feel so much better...

Boring day with SIMPLE perks

2004-07-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

Today seems like a busy day...i woke up early (partly because i'd a nightmare) as there are a few errands to run.

Destination 1: IMM
- F.O.S
check out what are the new arrivals. Wah, at the entrance saw the mannequin wearing a skirt which i'm looking for.

(Hmmm...can wear it out on the gathering this friday...Yipeee!!!)

- Post Office
Phew! manage to reach there in time & the queue is pretty short. Otherwise when the lunch crowd comes. The queue will be super long. Anyway, i went just to post out stuff for my buyers from Yahoo auction.

- The Commercial Press Bookstore

Heehee...this is a great place for me to check out the latest magazines. (Also to find out whether the Aug issue of Her World is out?)

- Daiso

Yipee, my favourite place, simply because it has a HUGE variety of things at the cheapest price (Everything only at S$2)

Destination 2: Jurong East Central

- CK

Need to check out the new place that sell cheap toiletries, wah really cheap spent about S$20 & got free gift some more (heehee sounds like auntie :P)

- This Fashion

Hmmm since i need to pass by so why not just take a look at what's nice in store...lucky able to maintain the will not to buy anything

Destination 3: Jurong Regional Library

Need to return the books *sigh* didn't manage to read the Sandra Brown book...Wana borrow the Chinese comic (Women's Company) again but couldn't find Vol 2 so borrow Vol 3 instead...

Booooring day...

2004-07-19T18:31:00.000+08:00

Arrrghhh...don't know what i did accidentally remove the whole blog post...now i have to try my best to recap...

its a booorrring day coz i have nothing to do (well still looking for a job mah) the only task on hand is to call up the company i went for interview last thursday to find out what benefits i have for that particular job then the answer was "we don't provide any benefits at all" (huh? is there such a company in s'pore which is like that? i thought basic benefits like medical or dental should be available?) anyway that confirms my answer that i won't work for the company *sigh* i have to start looking again...*dream* "When will i get a job??"

the whole day passed very slowly, i did nothing much except surfing through Yahoo auction, looking for stuff from Hollister, Delias, Supre etc. well the clothes look great but they are super EX!! i also went through other blogs to see how they "beautify" it, trying to copy them...hurhur...the html stuff is really difficult to learn coz i don't quite understand how to look at it...anyway i was also trying to learn how to make beautify pics like cherie & mich.

i guess tomorrow will be "just another day" however the only perk i will get will be going to JE library (hope i can find the chinese comic book *_*)

hi again

2004-07-18T03:14:00.000+08:00

Never thought i will hear about a particular "friend"...well suddenly had this notion & remembered that last time when he used the computer at my house to log onto the Net, he had actually visited his blog...wah that was like really long ago (yet it seems like just yesterday when it happened *_*) *what am i talking about??* i just decided to try my luck & check out whether he had kept his blog going (especially since i just started blogging so this thing has been occupying my mind most of the time, like every where i go i will bring along my digicam so that i can capture pics at that moment)

well...lucky me (or issit suay of me??? thoroughly contradicting...beginning to not understand myself again) he had his blog going since...... heehee...then i began reading how his life has been going on since we no longer kept in contact...i won't say i begin to understand him coz i still think he is too 捉摸不定 since last time...it hard to keep up to his thoughts or even guess what is going through his mind...anyway...after reading through his blog i realise i see a different side of him (maybe because the identity is different or maybe we have not kept in contact for so long??) however, i'm glad to see that he is doing just fine except that he still can't fulfill his aspirations, do the things he want (coz he's pretty undecisive, have always had many wild ideas or too many ideas about the things that he want to do??) and lastly, he is back in S'pore...making peace with myself...however, still not ready to meet up with him...(what am i talking about?? Getting confused about myself, my thoughts & feelings) I SHOULD MAKE PEACE WITH THE PAST...since its already the past, why should i keep going through that over & over again...i should start to look ahead...coz i have begin to think that unpredictable may the future be but i think it may bring surprises & happiness (definitely not sadness coz i think i really have enough!!) for me...what has passed will only be memories, no matter how hard i try to remember (or forget * sobz*) it will never be the same again & it will never happen again...

my new "fRiEnD"

2004-07-17T12:49:00.000+08:00

have just started blogging recently & since i'm not that great in the html format...Zihui taught me to go check out their blogs for inspiration, then i began to also check out other bloggers' blog...as i surf through i saw a podder whose blog looks so cute & sweet (hmm...i also want my blog to have that kinda look)

as i began to read her blog, i find that she is really a very interesting person (however somehow i felt guilty coz a blog is meant to be pretty personal either for your self or your close ones) though she is really young (if i'm not wrong she is about 20 only) but somehow i see that her personality is something that i look forward to...i want to be fun loving & chirpy for most of the time if possible...

after surfing through so many blogs & at the same time due to personal interest, poem is a great thing to put onto the blog coz its another form of expressing your thoughts & also letting others see how you feel...

I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile.
Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away
I let mine out, and chatter all the while.

I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day
Is any day that's spent without a friend,
With nothing much to do or hear or say.

I like to be with people, and depend
On company for being entertained;
Which seems a good solution, in the end.

What Poetry Form Are You?

gReAt sTaRt, LoUsy eNd

2004-07-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

well i normally will determine whether the day is good or bad by the songs played on 93.3fm...when i switched on the radio either the first song or one of the songs i heard before i leave the house is a song that i like...i will think that the day is so bright & shiny...today i heard 蔡依林's 愛情36計, so i thot today will be a good day, esp since i'm going for an interview...

then i went out for interview, its a Jeweller at chinatown, a very familiar place, coz my first job after poly was also located at chinatown...at the same time, i lurve to shop there...anyway the interview was pretty interesting coz my interviewer seems more or less confirm to hire me but the things that he asked me is really weird (eg. political question) then he asked about my salary requirements, but when i told him, he is like "Urmmm...the demand & supply according to the job market currently is unbalanced, the supply is more than the demand so the company cannot afford to pay so high...blah blah blah" for more than an hour till my eyes want to shut (brain has shut long ago, coz he asked the question & answer it himself) then i told him i need to consider first...

next i went to Alexander Distripark, coz i heard from a podder that Bossini is having a warehouse sale so DUN WAIT LIAO MUST GO CHEONG THE SALE as i didn't know the exact place so went to try luck...on my way saw many people with huge Bossini bags, so i went to ask them...when i reach there it was crazy...there were so many people (btw i went during lunch time so i think that's where the crowd comes in esp the place is a warehouse-cum-office environment) i was alone so i got to 靠自己的力量 & dig for the great buys...after some time my sweat just start to drip & i have to carry all the great finds to some corner to try it on...finally satisfied with the stuff that i'm getting then i realised that its a "PAY CASH ONLY", i quickly dig my purse, lucky got enough $$$...then happily went home & told me mom about it...wah when i show her, she got pretty much excited then i asked her whether she want to go take a look...ok then we went (Dad saw us in such hurry then he volunteer to send us but must help him find his 藍青31號褲子) but when we reach there dig & dig also cannot find...end up not buying anything...felt so 不甘願, did not buy anything but no choice really got nothing to buy...maybe should try my luck again on Monday, coz they might have new stocks coming in...

Buys of the Day: 2 pants, 1 skirt, 1 shirt & 1 camisole

The Blogging Day (or rather the Quiz Day)

2004-07-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

Have set my mind to start learning more about how to blog then I came across this quiz that is quite fun.

what flavor pocky are you?

[c] sugardew

Well I think its the perfect description, caused I'm a sweet & pink person & I lurvvve strawberry...

another one...

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm...not bad huh???

Heart of Glass

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

how true can that be?

What is LIFE AFTER DEATH??

2004-07-14T00:45:00.000+08:00

*sigh* duno how to begin expressing my thoughts...maybe I should say I must really begin or rather I MUST GROW UP...just last last friday, one of my closet friend, Lia's mum passed away...I didn't really asked her what happened but I think I know caused she had been struggling with the illness call CANCER for quite some time...when I got the news that she might not be able to make it anymore, my first thought was to rush to the hospital in the hope that I could see her the final time...I suddenly remembered the time when I was in poly & the group (Erlia, Irene & Geraldine) had to stay over at Lia's house all the time to complete our projects...Her mom would thoughtfully cooked for us, making sure that we had enough to eat so that we would have the energy to complete the work...always so considerate eventhough we had been a nuisance at the house making so much noise...I blamed myself for not being sensitive enough to show Lia with more concern...not contacting her more often, if not I would have been able to know that her mom was really sick...when i went to her house the very next day, I could see that her dad was very depressed but he continued to console me (he gave me a pat on my shoulder when he saw me *_*) Lia was pretty upset too but I couldn't do anything, I was just there to give her some mental support...

I should say I don't have much experience from death, my very first experience was my secondary classmate who had an accident with her bf, though I wasn't close to her but I visited her just before she passed away, she was a very pretty girl (a part time model) but when I saw her, her whole body was blotted & I could no longer see her sharp features, & after that she passed away...then the second experience was my second uncle who had leukemia & within 6 months I saw him "transformed" from a very healthy person (he was a member of the lion dance troupe) to a person who barely had any flesh except the skin that hangs onto his bones...then he just passed away...my grandma was so upset caused he was so young & such a great person...

Now I see my grandma getting even lonelier caused just last saturday, my step-grandpa (the ONLY Grandpa I ever know) had passed away due to heart failure...he had been very old & for the past 2 years hospital seems more like his home...the day before he passed away, the hospital sent him back home & told my grandma that he probably only had 2 more days...my mom knew that but she didn't tell me (maybe in her heart she still thinks that I am a kid so things like that shouldn't let me know)the morning that he passed away, I woke up feeling funny...I was awaken as I kept rubbing my eyes, not sure why but I kept on rubbing till tears came down & I couldn't open them then I had to go wash my face, after that my grandma called & asked my mom to call my first uncle, she sounded angry & I was not sure...then I received my mom's call (she was out, bringing Granny see doctor) then i told her what grandma said, then she told me grandpa had actually passed away in the morning...I WAS STUNNED...I didn't know how to react...I wasn't particularly close to him but I still felt sadden by his death as I treated him as my grandpa...someone who is my family & had been there since I was young...now he is no longer around...the funeral was very "quiet", not many people turn up, caused grandpa was born in China & most of his relative were there & even if they are in Spore, they are all pretty old & had difficulties in travelling...third uncle was the only one handling all the funeral stuff, but I could hardly see sadness in him, what I had seen was more of a relief which could be probably he had been travelling about since grandpa was sick & had to take care of his work & family at the same time...first uncle did not turn up at all due to some old misgivings (It makes me feel sad for grandpa, he had passed away & yet his son was not willing to even see him for the last time)many things happened at the funeral, just like in those drama serial...family arguments, hypocritical people who showed up just to show others that they cared for grandpa but did not visit him at all when he was alive...I felt really sad for my grandpa...

Lights Out!!

2004-06-30T02:59:00.000+08:00

Whoa first time see a part of S'pore in pitch darkness...so fun & so cool...was at Plaza Singapura when Guofeng told me that his place has blackout so my place also black out...can't wait to quickly go home see how "dark" was the situation...when the MRT reached Red Hill, I saw many lights so I thought that the power has return but then when I reached Commonwealth MRT Station the flats around had no lights. Shuyun & I was so ecstatic that we quickly got out of the train & TOOK PHOTOS coz you hardly can see such 奇觀...feel so silly & damn "boh liao" but it was fun. Then reached Jurong East Interchange have to walk with my mobile on so that I can see where I'm walking. The buses at the interchange was all started so that the lights could light up the interchange, the mama shop had candles lighted, like so romantic. Then took the bus home (continue walking with the mobile on) once i reached the stairs & wanted to start climbing THE POWER CAME BACK!!! Yipee.............I AM A LUCKY GAL!!!!!!